Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
- Jay Leno
Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.
- John Selden
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbours, and let each new year find you a better man.
- Benjamin Franklin
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anon
Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
- Oscar Wilde
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
- Mark Twain
From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humour lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
- Leonard Bernstein
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
- Author Unknown
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
- Bill Vaughan