What To Say About That "Special" Christmas Gift
Hey! There's a gift!
Well, well, well ...
Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.
This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
Gosh! I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though.
There are lots of unexplained fires.
If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
To think...I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to
charity.
I really don't deserve this.
It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this
from me.