Listed below please find the names and symptoms of a few dangerous computer viruses you should watch out for:
THE GEORGE BUSH -- Causes your computer to think it won the election, even though the mother-board and father-board bought it.
THE AL GORE -- Causes your computer to just keep counting.
THE CLINTON -- Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) -- Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
THE LEWINSKY -- Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
THE RONALD REAGAN -- Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
THE MIKE TYSON -- Quits after two bytes.
THE OPRAH WINFREY -- Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200mb.
THE JACK KEVORKIAN -- Deletes all old files.
THE PROZAC -- Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
THE JESSE JACKSON -- Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO -- Only attacks minor files.
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER -- Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
THE LORENA BOBBITT -- Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.